Apparently I’m really good at making guys question whether they want to be with me. At making them unhappy. At being a bad girlfriend and a good one at the same time. At causing someone from going from wanting me to move in for the summer to questioning the fact whether we have anything in common.
I excel at relationship failures, choosing the wrong guy, and having a broken heart.
These are not things I can put on my resumé.
On the same hand, being in a long distance relationship where you can only see each other on the weekends and then stating that you don’t feel like you do what you used to do because you’re spending the weekend with your girlfriend is a bullshit reason. Complaining that you talk too much when you were the one who started communicating every day and sends texts in the morning wishing a good day is a bullshit reason. Stating that we might’ve moved too fast when I was using your reactions to me as a guide for mine is a bullshit reason. Stating that I might be more comfortable with the whole relationship/commitment thing when you’re the one who gets jealous at the mention of a guy from my dating past and you’re the one who first talked about our moving in? that’s a bullshit reason, too. Oh, and not communicating any of this until you’re at the point where you want space? That’s also fucking bullshit.
I’m so hurt and angry and scared. This is not what I wanted for my life at 32-33 and I wonder where the hell I went wrong to be so far from where I wanted to be. Crying on my living room floor with my teddy bear off and on for a day and a half definitely isn’t it.
I fucking hate my life so much right now. I hate that I can’t do anything to make things better. I hate having my hands tied and just waiting or facing the other option: throwing in the towel, driving two hours to get my stuff and giving up before he reaches the conclusion I fear he will be making. I hate that I’m poor, broke, living paycheck to paycheck and right now have nothing to look forward to. He was my hope, my “light at the end of the week”, my proof that things could be better, that my life was finally going better after a horrible 2012 and a couple of not so great years before that.
I really thought I had found the one, not the next one to break my heart.
Did you know on average the human body needs 8 positive touches a day to survive? This includes: hand shakes, a hand on the shoulder, a hug, a kiss. etc. So you people saying, people that are depressed are just upset because they don’t get attention, in a way, you’re right, when your body lacks positive touches it can stunt your growth and effect your mental and emotional development. Give a hug.
ugggh getting that “I’m going to be dumped” feeling. Why do I have to keep fucking things up in my life that mean so much to me? Why do I always assume everyone is going to leave me when things get rough?
Oh yeah, because they do. Feeling so heart heavy right now. Really hoping it doesn’t turn to heart broken.
Idris Elba as the 12th doctor would be more sex than my computer, tv, and brain could handle. My libido, however, would be more than satisfied.
- 1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- 2.When did your last hug take place?
- 3.Are you a jealous person?
- 4.Are you tired right now?
- 5.Do you chew on your straws?
- 6.Have you ever been called a tease?
- 7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
- 8.Do you cry easily?
- 9.What should you be doing right now?
- 10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
- 11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
- 12.Are you mad at someone right now?
- 13.Do you believe in love?
- 14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
- 15.Who was the last person you talked to?
- 16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
- 17.Will you get married?
- 18.When was the last time you smiled?
- 19.Does anyone like you?
- 20.Do you secretly like someone?
- 21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
- 22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
- 23.What are you NOT looking forward to?
- 24.What ARE you looking forward to?
- 25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
- 26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
- 27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
- 28.Are you a forgiving person?
- 29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
- 30.Do you fall for people easily?
- 31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
- 32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
- 33.Who was the last person you drove with?
- 34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
- 35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
- 36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
- 37.Can you live a day without TV?
- 38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
- 39.Three names you go by..
- 40.Are you currently in a relationship?
- 41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
- 42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
- 43.What’s your current problem?
- 44.Have you ever had your heart broken?
- 45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
- 46.How many kids do you want to have?
- 47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
cecile told me about this really funny french expression and i can’t stop laughing. it’s “ils vont voir de quel bois je me chauffe” and it means “i’ll show them what i’m made of” but the literal translation is “they’ll see what kind of wood i heat the fireplace with”
fuck the haters, i’ll show them all the kind of wood i heat my fireplace with